COQ - Wywiady: Frank Zappa
brief bout with death when he was pushed off a London stage
during a tumultuous encore by the Mothers of Invention, Mother of
Mothers Frank Zappa, purveyor of classical rock and dirty blues
filtered through smudged crystal spectacles, is at it again. Two
or three new albums are in the can, several new films are in the
offing, and Zappa's latest band is on tour.
Vincent Zappa, Jr., was born of Sicilian-Greek parents 33 years
ago. He was the weirdo on the block, the freaked-out genius who
dabbled with test tubes and chemistry sets and grew up with
dada-wheel drive. His avant-garde sensibility comprises cultural
artifacts that range from music of Varese, Stravinsky, and the
Coasters to realized figments of the imagination such as the
Fillmore East, Suzy Creamcheese, and a number of memorable motels
(200 to be exact). Zappa's vision has caused groupies to grope,
musicologists to mortify, and stoned-out audiences to stare,
stupe fied. After releasing 16 albums, directing onefilm, and
letting several million dollars slip through his musically
dextrous fingers, Zappa finally admits that he's not in it
"only for the money " or for the music and the fame or
even the "cheesy sex." Like his fans, Zappa says he's
began this interview, which was conducted in Los Angeles, by
asking about the accident that nearly stilled permanently one of
the most irreverent, energetic, and essential creative voices in
pop music history.
Somebody pulled you off the stage in England recently because his
girlfriend was getting hot for you. Weren't you almost killed?
I don't know what happened. I never saw the guy, I never saw the
girl. I don't know anything about it. I just knew I was in the
orchestra pit. My leg was broken. My ribs were broken. I had a
hole in the back of my head. my neck was almost broken. My chin
was caved in. They thought I was dead when they saw me down
there. because my head was completely bent over on the side of my
And now you look perfect. What effect did it have on you? Did you
flash for a second that your last note had been played?
No, I just woke up and I didn't know where I was. I didn't even
know that I was on the road.
Can you describe your latest album?
The new album is called Overnight Sensation and it's got quite a
bit of interesting stuff on it. It's all vocal as opposed to what
we have been releasing for the past few albums, and I'm doing
most of the vocals. It's interesting.
Is Frank Zappa music still freaked out?
How can you go back? Some of the titles are Zombie Woof a song
about a guy who takes a nap and wakes up and finds out that he's
someplace other than what he thought he was. He winds up raiding
a dormitory, hitching up a nude maiden, and doing it to her on
the roof. Then there's Camirillo Brillo, which is a song about a
girl with a certain kind of frizv hairdo that is popular among
teen maidens who practice witchcraft in their spare time. There
is a song called Fifty Fifty, which has extremely absurd solos in
it, one of which is a raging solo on a pipe organ. The LP
certainly has a lot of good stuff in it. I think it will be the
most popular album since We're Only in It for the Money because
it has a lot of very funny lyrics in it. All the musical
performances are good, and the cover is unbelievable. It's a
still life that was painted by a guy named Dave McMacken. It's a
surrealistic scene that takes place in a motel room and has all
these weird souvenirs from various tours that we have done.
Your film 200 .Hotels was your view of life on those tours. How
did that project get started?
I've been writing music in hotel rooms for years and years. I
wanted to find some way of getting it played. It was more of a
musical diary. So I devised a screenplay that chronicled in an
abstract way the activities of the group on the road for a
certain period of time and used the music that had been written
in the motels as the scoring for the film.
Do you think that the music and the movie reflected what you had
in your head?
The film was shot in seven days. That is to say exactly S6 hours,
seven eight-hour days of shooting. We used four video cameras and
video tape and then eventually transferred to 35mm film. When the
56th hour rolled around, we had only shot one third of the
script. I had to restructure the material that had been done
because we weren't shooting in sequence. I had to sequence that
information into another kind of plot that would at least carry
some continuity. The cost of the film was $679,000. If I had had
double that, I would have been able to shoot the whole script and
had a better realization of what the thing was supposed to be.
It lost money.
No. it didn't. It did not lose money.
A lot of people came out of the theaters scratching their heads.
Well, they come out of concerts the same way, but at least I've
given them the chance to go in and see something that will allow
them to scratch their heads instead of letting them sit in front
of a television set and scratch their balls and know in advance
what everybody is going to say and what everybody is going to do.
Your work in films came as no surprise, because one or two of
your projects were scrapped before completion. On top of that,
Zappa music has always been highly theatrical in concept. As a
matter of fact, you wrote one of the first rock operas, I Was a
Teenage Malt Shop. How biographical was it?
Malt Shop? Oh, strictly fantasy-type stuff. It was about an old
man who has a daughter named Nelda, a cheerleader. The old man
has a recording studio that hasn't had a hit, and there's an evil
landlord who's going to foreclose on him. So there's this group
that comes in with a high school hero called Med the Mungler
who's a teenage Lone Ranger.
Were you arrested for dabbling in pornographic filmmaking?
Oh, yeah, I was set up by the vice squad with a small intriguing
plot where they sent a guy into my studio disguised as a used-car
salesman who was requesting material to present to other used-car
salesmen at an alleged party that was supposed to take place the
following Wednesday. They came to me because my studio received a
lot of publicity in the Cucamonga area and I was attempting to
raise money to produce a science-fiction film called Captain
Beefhart vs. the Grunt People. They had a whole big spread on the
studio in the Sunday papers. The place itself had no windows and
it was directly across the street from a holy roller church and a
block away from a grammar school in a town of 7000 population. I
was the only guy in town who had long hair. It was weird. So
there was a curiosity in the community about what I was doing.
They came to investigate me and performed what is known in the
trade as an "illegal entrapment." The guy requested
that pornographic material be manufactured. He specified what he
wanted, and I didn't make him a film, I made him a sound tape
because I had no idea that making it would be doing anything
illegal. I thought I was doing a public service for a bunch of
used-car salesmen who wanted to get their rocks off. So I made
this tape for $100. It sounded really fine to me at the time
because E wasn't eating. He came back the next day and offered me
$50 and I said, "Wait a minute. There is something strange
here." He whipped out a badge and all these guys came in
with cameras and this whole big thing. I didn't have any money to
take it to court and I couldn't have fought the case. So I
pleaded nolo contendere, which means: "I give up, I don't
have any money, I can't afford a laywer, but I do not say I'm
guilty." There was a 27-year-old district attorney who just
did not like me and insisted that I be sentenced to six months in
jail. The judge said, "No, we'll give him six months with
all but ten days suspended and three years probation." So I
went to the San Bernardino jail for ten days, tank C.
No film was ever shot?
No film, and anyway the tape that was made was no worse than side
four of the Freak Out album. So that's what's so hilarious 59
about it. This was '64 and the Freak Out album was '65.
In November 1966 you moved to New York and took up residency at
the Garrick Theater. The New York Fugs were around the block at
the Players Theater. It must have been a hairy scene back then.
It was quite amusing in those days. Our show ran longer than
theirs, I think. We just kept on going. I have films of a lot of
the activities that went on there.
It was a milestone in your career.
It was a milestone in musical history. No other group has ever
done that -- had that long a residency and the amount of work
that we did per day and each one different and tailor made for
the audiences that came in there.
You performed marriages onstage, goosed young virgins, and spat
at your audience. What was going on?
That's what the audience liked. There was one kid in there who
came back 20 or 30 times. His idea of a good time was to grab the
microphone away from me, scream in it at the top of his lungs,
hurl himself to the floor, collapse still screaming, and have me
spit Coca-Cola all over him. Every time I would see him in the
audience I would say, come on. He would run up and scream, I'd
spit Coca-Cola. and he loved it. I mean, that's an art statement,
What about the Marine atrocities?
A Marine had been stabbed in Greenwich Village and there was a
rumor going around that all the Marines were going to come into
the Village and stomp all the hippies in sight. We were
rehearsing one after noon and three Marines in uniform came in
and sat down. I said hi to them and told them that they coul stay
and watch a rehearsal, and they did. So when it was over, I went
down and talked with them. The rest of the guys in the band were
going, O man! are they coming down here to get us? They turned
out to be real nice guys. and they asked for autographs. I asked
if they would like to sit in with us that night. They said sure.
I asked if they could sing. They said yes, House of the Rising
Sun an Everybody Must Get Stoned were the two songs that they
knew. So I to them to go across the street to the T Angel and get
drunk and then come back and sit in with us. They can back and
got up onstage in full-dress uniform. So the United States
Marines started singing Everybody Must Get Stoned and House of
the Rising Sun, and everybody loved it. So asked them if they
would be interested in demonstrating some of their combat
techniques onstage. They thought that would be fun. I send
someone around the corner to my apartment to procure a large doll
tha was about four and a half feet tall. When the Marines came
back on stage for the second show I handed them the doll and told
them to pretend that it was a gook baby and do whatever you do to
people in Vietnam. They tore the doll apart, completely wasted
it, with musical accompaniment. And then when the finished doing
it, I picked up the doll and I think I said, "Let's hear it
for the United States Marines." I held up the dismembered
doll. There we weird, quiet music. People were crying. It was
pretty heavy. And then after that was over, everybody clapped and
I introduced the guys to let them take a bow. The first guy
walked up to the microphone and said, "Eat the apple, fuck
the core," and the second guy said, "Eat the apple,
fuck the core." and the third guy said, "Eat the apple,
fuck the core, some of love our mothers more." I saw one of
those guys again when we played Philadelphia. He was out of
uniform by then.
You have an incredible reputation for doing what most artists
would never do to their audience. You criticize them outright,
blatantly put them down. Isn't that biting the hand that feeds
No. If I'm in a concert situation and somebody in the audience is
acting obnoxious and doing something that is disturbing the
program, I'm not going to sit there and smile at him. I'm going
to deal with him, so that the other people who came to watch the
show can get their money's worth. That problem arises especially
with East Coast audiences.
You used the word "obnoxious." A lot of people think
that sometimes you actually fit that category.
Well, a lot of people could say the same thing about Lawrence
Welk, or they could say the same thing about any other music that
they didn't like, you know. But we do enjoy it, and the people
who have negative opinions about it can use any adjective they
want to describe it.
Gracie Slick of the Jefferson Airplane once called you the most
intelligent asshole she's ever met. What do you think she meant
I don't know. Would you presume that "asshole" has a
negative connotation? Maybe she likes assholes. Hitler was an
asshole. He just had a good p.r. department. Also a good tailor.
A lot of critics admit that you are a pretty neat musician, but
there are a couple of blue meanies out there who accuse you of
stealing certain classical composers' music. They claim you are a
good arranger but not a great composer. Would you like to set the
books straight on that?
I have nothing to say to those people. They are deaf.
One of the more fascinating, and least-known, documents of
groupie life was the album Permanent Damage by the GTOs. Who were
they and how did you come to record them?
The GTOs were a group of girls who used to hang out at my house.
They had an interesting lifestyle. They used to write poetry and
do little skits and live sort of a fantasy life. I thought it
would be interesting to share their experiences with people who
had never come in contact with anything like that. So I
encouraged them to set music to their songs or get somebody to
help them put their poems to music and I would record them. It
was just a sampling of their lifestyle.
Another woman of infamy in your world was Suzy Creamcheese.
What's her storv?
Creamcheese was a girl named Jeanme Vassoir. And she is the voice
that s on the Freak Out album. The mvth of Suzy Creamcheese, the
letter on the album, I wrote myself. There never really was a
Suzy Creamcheese. It was just a figment of my imagination until
people started identifying with it heavily. It got to weird
proportions in Europe, so that in 1967. when we did our first
tour of Europe. people were asking if Suzie Creamcheese was along
with us. So I procured the services of another girl named Pamela
Zarubica, who was hired to be the Suzy Cream cheese of the
European tour. And then she maintained the reputation of being
Suzy Creamcheese after 1967. The first one went someplace, we
don't know where. She's back in town now; I saw her.
What was the origin of the name Suzy Creamcheese? Is there a
I think it came from a dream.
A wet one?
No, it wasn't even a cheesy one.
In 1969. vou issued the famed Mothers of Invention obituary
letter. Was it just financial strain that led to the end of the
group or was it a lack of understanding of your music by the
Oh, it was a lot more things, too. But I didn-t think that those
things were of interest to the people who were to receive the
letter. So for nine months there were no more Mothers.
At that point you said you had had enough. Was that enough of the
other fellas or of the Mothers' identity?
There were economic problems, and there was also the fact that
many members of the group at that point ceased to perform to the
best of their ability.
Were you upset at the public for not understanding your music?
You know, just everything seemed to be going wrong at that
particular time. I didn't think I wanted to continue beating my
head against the wall under those circumstances.
Do audiences understand now?
I don't know whether they understand. Some people like it, some
people don't. I don't even know whether the ones who like it
understand it. I'm sure the ones who don't like it don't
Do you think anyone could possibly understand?
Sure. I mean, there are a few I've run into. I know it's quite
Upon coming out of "retirement." you did a concert with
Zubin Mehta and the L. A. Philharmonic. How did that turn out?
I think it was successful from a number of standpoints and then a
musical flop in some ways. It is virtually impossible to make any
kind of music in a basketball arena, and if you're trying to
stick a symphony orchestra in a basketball arena that holds
14.000 people and put an electric band alongside of it, any mixer
in the world is going to have trouble trying to make it sound
like it should. So we just had to struggle with those problems.
It drew about 14,000 people: there was a big audience that wanted
to see the event. There was no place available that had that
seating capacity and better acoustics. That was just the only
place we could have don.e it.
Right after that some of the Mothers and some of the Turtles
joined forces. What new musical concepts did you get into with
They were very strong on the vaudeville. It was more rustic
bumpkin. If they did choreography or anything onstage it wasn't
controlled. It was spur of the moment random weirdness. It was OK
for working in a 300-seat theater. but little actions with dolls
and things like that are invisible when vou start working 4000 or
3000- seat auditoriums. You just can't get it across. So you need
larger gestures, and Mark and Howard of the Turtles were good at
Who is in vour group now?
Ian Underwood from the Garrick Theater. Ruth Underwood on marimba
and percussion. George Duke on piano. Jean-Luc Ponty on violin.
Ralph Humphrey on drums, Bruce Fowler on trombone. Tom Fowler on
bass. and we're trying out a harmonica player named Craig
Do they understand?
No, I wouldn't say that they understand. Thes are extremely
skilled musicians and most of them fall into the virtuoso
categorv and all have complete instrumental control.
Do you think that your music is communicating?
Sure, but that doesn't mean that I'm communicating 100 percent.
What do you think has to be done so that musical barriers can be
There is no way to know.
Are you still knocking your head against the wall?
No. I just stopped getting agitated about it; it doesn't bother
Isn't that frustrating?
Only if you let it be.
Why do you think people keep coming back?
Curiosity, that's what the audience is into. They are there to be
entertained and they sometimes go to see things because they are
Is it a freak show to them?
To some, yeah. I just do what I do. and I'll take my chances as
to who gets off on it.