Them Or Us


1. THE CLOSER YOU ARE

The closer you are
The brighter the stars in the sky
And darling
I realize
That you're the one in my life
Oh oh
My heart skips a beat
Every time
You and I meet
My life, my love, my dear
I can't defeat
This yearning deep in my heart
To have only you

When I first saw you
I did adore you
And all your loving ways
But then you went away
But now you're back to stay
And my love for you grows stronger every
Day-ahhh Way-ahhh Way

The closer you are
The brighter the flames in my heart
And darling
We'll never part
We'll always be in love


2. IN FRANCE

We're playin' in a tent
It's payin' the rent
If you pooch a civilian
It's a major event
In France
Way down in France
Way on down
Way on down
In France

The girls is all salty
The boys is all sweet
The food ain't too shabby
An' they piss in the street
In France
Way down in France
Way on down
Way on down
In France

They got diseases
Like you ain't never seen
Got a mystery blow-job
Turn your peter green
In France
Way down in France
Way on down
Way on down
In France

They got some coffee
Eatin' right through the cup
An' when they go ka-ka
They make you stand up
In France
Way down in France
Way on down
Way on down
In France

If you're not careful
It'll stick to your cheek
You'll smell like a native
For a couple of weeks
In France
Way down in France
Way on down
Way on down
In France

We cannot wait
'Till we go back
It gets so exciting
When the poodles 'react'
In France
Way down in France
Way on down
Way on down
In France
Never try to get yo' peter sucked
In France


3. YA HOZNA

     Here is the corrected version of the Ya Hozna lyrics. The credit for
     doing this has to be given to todd@cup.hp.com (Todd Poynor), who
     listened to all the backward lyrics and checked out the running time
     when they appear.

  4:23 [English:] I am the heaven
  4:15            I am the water
  4:08 [German:]  Ich bin deine Ritze
  3:54            Ich bin deine Ritze und Schlitze
  3:47 [English:] I am the clouds
  3:42 [German:]  Ich bin der Chrome Dinette             [sic!]
                  Ich bin Eier aller Arten
                  Ich bin alle Tage und Naechte
  3:22            Ich bin alle Tage und Naechte
  3:20            (ha-ee-ya)
  3:15 [English:] I am embroidered
  3:09 [German:]  Ich bin der Dreck unter deinen Walzen
  3:08 [English:] Oh, no, [whip?] it on me, honey [?]
  3:06            (ha-ee-ya)
  3:04            (ha-ee-ya)
  3:00 [German:]  Ich bin hier
  2:58            (ha-ee-ya)
  2:47            Ich bin der Autor aller Felgen und Damask-Paspeln
  2:39            Ich bin der Chrome Dinette

       [Radio:]   You're a lonely little girl
  2:28            But your mommy and your daddy don't care

  2:24 [German:]  Ich bin hier
  2:22            (ha-ee-ya)
  2:17            Und du bist mein Sofa

  2:12 [Radio:]   You're a lonely little girl

       [German:]  Ich bin hier
  2:01            Und du bist mein Sofa
  1:57            (cadenza)

       [Moon:]    I'm, like, [green? grief?]
                  I'm, like, [squat?]
                  I'm, like, so
                  Repeat, like, so
                  Oh, I'm, like, [?.... appalling...?]
                  I'm, like, okay, like, so
  1:43            Oh, I'm so

  1:31 [German:]  Ich bin dein geheimer Schmutz und verlorenes Metallgeld
  1:27            (Metallgeld)
  1:25            (ha-ee-ya)
  1:20            Und du bist mein Sofa
  1:15            Ich bin hier
  1:13            (ha-ee-ya)

       [Moon:]    You'll never [? she's ... ]
                  Like, so; like, so; like, so
  1:06            Okay, I like it

       [German:]  Ich bin hier
  0:54            And you are my sofa
                  Und du bist mein Sofa
  0:50            (cadenza)

       [Moon:]    Yeah, like, [...?...], faster, faster
                  Go, do it, do it [right? great?]
                  Yeah, I'm feelin' good
                  I'm lookin' great
                  Yeah, fer shure
  0:38            Like, no way

       [German:]  Ich bin hier
  0:26            Und du bist mein Sofa
  0:22            (cadenza)
                  Ich bin hier
  0:10            Und du bist mein Sofa
  0:06            (cadenza)

4. SHARLEENA

I'm cryin'
I'm cryin'
Cryin' for Sharleena
Can't you see

I called up all my baby's friends
'N ask'n um

Where she done went
But nobody 'round here seems to know
Where my Sharleena's been
Where my Sharleena's been

Ten long years I been lovin' her
Ten long years
And I thought deep down in my heart
She was mine
Ten long years I been lovin' her
Ten long years
I would call her my baby and now
I'm always cryin'

I would be so delighted
I would be so delighted
If they would just
Send her on home to me


5. SINISTER FOOTWEAR II

(Instrumental)


6. TRUCK DRIVER DIVORCE

Truck driver divorce!
It's very sad
(Steel guitars
Usually weep all over it)

The bold & intelligent
MASTERS OF THE ROAD
With their Secret Language
And their GIANT
OVER-SIZED
MECHANICAL
TRANS-CONTINENTAL
HOBBY-HORSE!

Truck driver divorce!
It's very sad
Oh the wife!
Oh the kids!
Oh the waitress!
Oh the drive all night!

Sometimes when you get home
Some ugly-lookin' son-of-a-bitch
Is tryin' to pooch yer
HOME-TOWN SWEETHEART!

Oh, go ride the bull!
Yes, go ride the bull!
Make it go up 'n down
'N when you fall off
You can eat the mattress!

TRUCK DRIVER DIVORCE!
IT'S VERY SAD!
Bust yer ass
To deliver some string beans,
Deliver some string beans,
Deliver a whole buncha string beans
To
UTAH!


7. STEVIE'S SPANKING

His name is Stevie Vai
And he's a crazy guy
Last November I recall
He needed a spanking

He decided then
A female specimen
Would be excitin' for a night
To give him a spanking

Laurel was her name
She came to Notre Dame
He told me just the other day
He oughta be thanking
Her for the spanking

She was large and soft
And she beat him off
Made him drool upon his dork
And gave it a wanking
After the spanking

Hair brush!
[Oh, what a hair brush!]
Oh! What a hair brush!
[Frank, it's a hair brush!]
(It's not that he requires grooming!
[laaaaaa-deeeee. Oh, sports!]
Guys with light blue hair never do!)

Then she did exclaim:
"There's another game
That we can play with this device,
And then a banana!"

It was slightly green
Vapors in between
Rising up to fill the room
And cook the banana

She said it was dry
Stevie, won't you try?
To drool a little drool on it
and grease the banana

Later in the dawn
Laurel carried on
She got right up and dressed herself and
Ate the banana


8. BABY, TAKE YOUR TEETH OUT

[MOO-AHHH!]
Baby take your teeth out
Try it one time
Baby take your teeth out
Try it one time
Leave 'em on the kitchen table
[Well, MOO-AHHH!]

Baby take your teeth out
It'll be fine
Baby take your teeth out
It'll be fine
There ain't nothin' left to talk about

[Oh, baby]
[That's what I like]
[Yeah, what, huh?]
[Yeah, Moo-ahh!]
[The way you handle that {love?}]
[Oh baby]
[Don't mind that { ? }]
[On your hands]

Baby take your teeth out
You look divine
Baby take your teeth out
You look divine
Go ahead and eat the label
[Oil and water kills germs]
[Um-hmm, told ya]

Baby take your teeth out
I will recline
[Girl must be prakitin' richcraft]
Baby take your teeth out
I will recline
There ain't nothin' left to talk about


9. MARQUESON'S CHICKEN

(Instrumental)


10. PLANET OF MY DREAMS

Planet of my dreams
The EARTH, my EARTH
Is bulging at the seams
The EARTH, my EARTH
It's full of many schemes
And as the sunlight beams
The glory of our sciences
And militant allinaces
Reveal their basic worth
Along the mounds of dead appliances!

Planet of my dreams
The EARTH, my EARTH
I hear its muffled screams
The EARTH, my EARTH
And though it often seems
That ignorance is rampant there
And Governmental Goons don't care
I know that I shall not despair
And CHEAT like ALL THE REST
I'll just keep on
With what I do the best!

Cheat-cheedly-cheat! Go Ahead!
I CAN'T DO IT!
Cheat-cheedly-cheat! Go Ahead!
I CAN'T DO IT!
Cheat-cheedly-cheat! Go Ahead!
I CAN'T DO IT!
Cheat-cheedly-cheat! Go Ahead!
I CAN'T DO IT!


11. BE IN MY VIDEO

Be in my video
Darling, every night
I will rent a cage for you
And mi-ji-nits dressed in white
(Teeny-little-tiny-little . . .)

Twirl around in a lap dissolve
Pretend to sing the words
I'll rent a gleaming limousine;
Release a flock of
Ber-herna-herna-herna
Herna-her-nerda

Wear a leather collar
And a dagger in your ear
I will make you smell the glove
And try to look sincere, then we'll

Dance the blues
Let's sing the blues
Let's dance the blues
Under the mega-watt moonlight

Pretend to be Chinese
(One-hung-low)
I'll make you wear red shoes
There's a cheesy atom bomb explosion
All the big groups use

Atomic light will shine
Through an old venetian blind
Making patterens on your face
Then it cuts to outer space

With its billions & billions &
Billions & billions and

Be in my video
Darling, every night
Everyone in cable-land
Will say you're 'outa-site'

You can show your legs
While you're getting in the car, then
I will look repulsive
While I mangle my guitar

Reen-toon-teen-toon-teen-toon
Tee-nu-nee-nu-nee
Moo-ahhhh

Reen-toon-teen-toon-teen-toon
Tee-nu-nee-nu-nee
Moo-ahhhh

Reen-toon-teen-toon-teen-toon
Tee-nu-nee-nu-nee
Moo-ahhhh

Tee-nu-nee - - - - moo-ahhhh
Tee-nu-nee - - - - moo-wah-wah-wah-ooo

After all the close-up shots
Of you in bondage leather
They'll spray an alley with a hose
And we'll escape together, while we

Dance de blude again
Led dance de blude again
Led dance de blude again
In de middle o' de alley

Let's dance your face
Let's dance your lips
Let's dance your nose
And then we'll dance your sinus MOO-AHHHH!


12. THEM OR US

(Instrumental)


13. FROGS WITH DIRTY LITTLE LIPS

Frogs with dirty little lips
Dirty little warts on their finger-tips
Dirty 'n green
Tiny 'n mean
Floppin' around
By the edge of the stream

Frogs with dirty little eyes
Dirty little tongues all covered with flies
Dirty brown
Floppin' around
Puffed up 'n bloated
When the sun goes down

Frogs with dirty little nose
Dirty little spots all over their clothes
Dirty legs
Dirty feet
Dirty little frogs is what you eat


14. WHIPPIN' POST

I been run down
Lord, I been lied to
And I don't know why
I let that mean woman make me out a fool

She took all my money
Wrecked my new car
Now she's with one of my good-time buddies
Drinkin' in some cross-town bar

Sometimes I feel
Sometimes I feel
Like I been
Tied to the whippin' post
Tied to the whippin' post
Good Lord, I feel like I'm dyin'

My friends tell me
That I been such a fool
But I got to stand there an' take it
All for loving you

Drown myself in sorrow
As I look at what you done
Nothin' seems to change;
The bad times stay the same
And I can't run

Sometimes I feel
Sometimes I feel
Like I been
Tied to the whippin' post
Tied to the whippin' post
Good Lord, I feel like I'm dyin'



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